The Very Secret Diary of Seraphimon

The private thoughts of a Great Angel Digimon

Writer's note: This Diary is incomplete, as I haven’t seen most of Frontier yet (Stupid M-net); also, this story contains shameless self-references (laughs evilly) - now read, puny mortals, read and enjoy.

~Darkangemon

Day 1: The Ten Legendary Warriors just defeated Lucemon, problem is I showed up afterwards and asked Zephyrmon what I had missed because of my hair appointment. For a girl with no mouth she sure can yell loudly, she called me a wuss and said I needed to get my priorities straight, I am going back to Forest Terminal to sulk a while.

Day 27: I feel great; I just got promoted to being a Guardian of the Digital World. When I told Sorcermon the news he was sure that it was a mistake and that they would print a retraction in the Digi-Times pretty soon. Sorcermon is actually quite a prat when it comes to talking about my job. What do I pay him for?

Day 28: Met my Co-Guardians today in first council. I was the most attractive person there. Ophanimon is sort of cute if you like the Madam Web sort of look and Cherubimon is a big ugly dog that kept giving me funny looks as we picked our territories for guarding. Typical, he gets the middle and yet he still complains that he got the thin end of the wishbone. He’ll never be anything but a whiner. Also, on a sadder note, Zephyrmon just dumped me, she said that we were both in love with the same Digimon, me. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. There’s more than enough of me to go around.

Day 29: Ophanimon has been giving me looks; darn, I’m still a chick magnet even when I pretend to do work. All of us had to share a little about ourselves; Cherubimon kept making funny hacking sounds while I did my presentation and I was forced to cut short slides of the Angemon family picnic. Cherubimon is really a jerk. Also, some fellow called Darkangemon keeps bugging me for an interview. Told him I don’t speak to the press while I have work to do. Now, what did I do with that hair appointment.

Day 42: Council so boring, not even Ophanimon is interesting any more; on bright side Cherubimon isn’t there anymore. He must be sulking about being ugliest being in the group. Sorcermon is beginning to spring clean so I'll stay away from home awhile since I have found I am majorly allergic to dust.

Day 44: Ran into Cherubimon today, he was destroying part of the Digital World. Wonder what he’s up to? No matter I have my wings trimmed today for a date with Ophanimon’s sister Angewomon who is even cuter than she is. Darn, am I lucky or what.

Day 45: Cherubimon jumped me on my way back from my date. I feel so helpless, I got beaten up after one punch. Ophanimon gave me some painkillers and I will write again as soon as I can move my wings again.

Day 56: Keep dreaming I’m stuck in a crystal, must ask Ophanimon where she got those pills.

Day 57: It’s getting worse, I’m now also having dreams about some boy named TK and that Sorcermon keeps dusting my crystal and singing it’s a long road to Rome. I REALLY hate that song! Darkangemon keeps showing up to call me a wuss. Why, I oughta wring his neck, if I could move.

Day 2345: It’s been a long time since my last entry since I really was stuck in a crystal and couldn’t move.

Even more irritating than when I came to and found there were human children in the house, I haven’t had anything to eat in what, 5 years, and Sorcermon had nothing waiting. After pledging to reunite with Ophanimon and to destroy Cherubimon I found my inner wuss because before I could sock that overgrown Pound Puppy good, the remaining legendary warriors led by Mercurymon (No Zephyrmon among them thank goodness) showed up. I said something about not being able to protect both the human children and myself, real truth is I can’t even do the latter, let alone the former.  So those warrior chumps ended up taking my fractal code. I’m an egg now, an egg, what sort of girls can an egg pick up? One other major loss is that I no longer have Sorcermon to do the laundry any more. Where am I going to get new help? Maybe I can find someone at the Autumn Leaf Fair.

Day 2347: I’m feeling nauseous, that whacko Bokomon has taken charge of taking care of my egg and for some obscure reason believes that I enjoy being bounced around. I kicked out at the shell and all that seems to be happening is that it’s getting worse. Somebody help me!

Day 2350: Maybe the egg is safer. The girl Zoë just got her beast spirit, and guess what? It turns out that it's Zephyrmon. I hope spirits of legendary warriors don’t have long memories. Otherwise I don’t wanna leave my egg, regardless of how that nit Bokomon jerks it around.